


No Fairy Tale Ending

by muses_circle



Series: We All Fall series [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anger, Angst, Demons, F/M, Gen, post-season 3, pre-season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:10:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23465167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muses_circle/pseuds/muses_circle
Summary: She knew something was wrong the second he walked into the diner.
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Series: We All Fall series [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1059086
Kudos: 1





	No Fairy Tale Ending

**Author's Note:**

> While I don’t own Sam, I do own the girl. Her mistakes are all mine. This takes place during Sam's summer without Dean, part of my Sam/OFC 'verse.

Emma knew something was wrong with Sam the second he walked into Mel’s Diner – the Wichita, Kansas greasy spoon that was their designated meeting place. From the looks of things, the last several weeks had not been kind to him. The dark circles under his eyes, the five o’clock shadow, the way he was hunched over in the booth – all indications that Sam had been pushing himself too hard.  
  
Not that he had said anything about his troubles, of course; Sam never seemed to want to talk about himself and his recent hunts lately. The last time she’d seen him – a “pit stop” for him while she was in the middle of a writer’s convention in San Antonio about three weeks ago – Sam had hardly spoken more than two words at a time. Unfortunately, her usual methods of trying to get him to relax had failed, and she’d been left with numerous questions and not an iota on whether Sam would ever contact her again.  
  
In fact, if not for the promise he’d made to meet up with her regularly, she bet she never would’ve seen him again. Ever since Dean’s death, she had seen Sam slowly withdraw into himself and effectively block anyone who expressed concern for him. Including herself _and_ Bobby.  
  
Based on what little the veteran hunter told her, Emma wondered just how much Sam had veered off onto a dangerous path. Losing a loved one was hard – she had first-hand experience in that department; losing family the way Sam had – in the most horrible way imaginable – went beyond anguish. Part of her wanted nothing more than to take him and hold him until the pain passed.  
  
However, as she now gazed at Sam’s face, at the hard tic in his jaw and the intense emptiness in his hazel eyes, Emma also felt anger and intense frustration. Here he sat, silent. His emotions buried so deeply it would take a sledgehammer to destroy the walls he’d constructed. It looked like something inside of him had died; who knew if anyone – or any _thing_ – would make him whole again? Would he _allow_ someone to break through and try to reach him?  
  
The dullness of his gaze told her that it was unlikely. Whatever Sam had decided to do over the last eight weeks seemed to be destroying him. That the barriers he had constructed during that time to keep her at arm’s length had begun to piss her off.  
  
The book in her lap felt like a ton of bricks. Emma cleared her throat, brushed its cover with her hand, and reminded herself why she had been looking forward to this meeting. She wanted Sam to be the first person to know that her book was being published, and to give him the first copy. Because of the Winchesters, she had been introduced to a new world, one she knew she never would have found on her own. With the hunters she’d met, the new resources at her disposal, and the few hunts she had actively participated in . . . all of that was because of the man sitting across from her, him and the brother who had departed this world.  
  
The dedication inside the cover was proof of her thanks, but as she searched for something to say, Emma wondered at the wisdom of bringing the book. Sam wouldn’t be interested. He didn’t need the fresh reminder of the fact that Dean was dead. Perhaps she was another memory of how Sam and his brother worked together to exorcise the demon that had terrorized the Gulf Coast the year before. Was trying to keep in contact with him the right thing anymore? It seemed as silly as the deep-seated feelings she had long held for him. Feelings she could never reveal. Feelings she was sure Sam could never return.  
  
_Suck it up and focus_ , she thought. _Sam needs you now, whether he knows it or not. Friends don’t give up on each other_. Emma forced a smile. “So what’s been new? Been busy with some cases?” she asked.  
  
Sam shrugged and glanced down at his hands. “Yeah. Lot going on.”  
  
_Great, he didn’t feel like taking. Again._ A heavy sigh threatened to spill from her lips, but she forced it in check. The fact that Sam refused to look at her silenced the moment of anger. Clearly, something was going on, and it probably wasn’t good. Or at least she assumed that – it wasn’t like Sam was being overly chatty. “That bad, huh?” she said instead.  
  
Once again, Sam shrugged, and this time looked towards the front counter of the diner. “I’m kinda working a job right now, so I don’t have much time to chat,” he said.  
  
Her eyebrows shot up. _Working a job? As in right this second?_ She followed his gaze and noticed the tall, skinny guy behind the cash register. He was smiling in a friendly manner at a late-night dinner patron, but Emma immediately felt like something was wrong with him. She couldn’t put her finger on it for a moment; the feeling of wrongness seemed to emanate from the young man.  
  
However, a voice in her head told her that the guy was possessed, and that Sam seemed to know it: Emma heard him shift in his seat. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his body in a very defensive position – like the skinny guy was a threat.  
  
“Sam?” she whispered and looked at him. “What is it?” She really wanted to know if he needed backup, but the intense look on his face meant he’d already gone into hunter mode.  
  
“Not now,” he hissed under his breath.  
  
Emma frowned but remained silent. Gripping the book still in her lap and fighting off the desire to help, she watched as Sam slide out of the booth and move towards the cashier. Once at the counter, Sam leaned against it and had a few words with Skinny Guy, who wore what she considered a sadistic smirk. After a couple tense moments, Sam turned towards the front door and walked out without looking back.  
  
“What the hell?” she asked out loud, not sure whether to be totally shocked or ticked off by his obvious tunnel vision. The old Sam would never have been so single-minded, not when they were together. He’d always told her that it was good to take a break from the hunt. Had he forgotten that?  
  
_This is a new Sam_ , she thought, _and I gotta admit that I have no idea who he is._ With an angry sigh, she placed her book on the tabletop and pulled out her cell phone. Thankfully she had Sam’s updated number, only because he had called an hour before to make sure they were meeting. She punched in a text message and hit ‘send’: _Going 2 hotel. Room 12. Meet up later or I’ll hunt u down._  
  
But after she put her cell phone away, Emma realized that she would not just sit around to see whether Sam would show. She scooted out of the booth and quickly walked out of the diner, intent on following the youngest Winchester to whatever destination he had flown to. She was going to get some answers. Sam was not going to leave her in the dark when potentially dangerous forces were threatening him.  
  


  
  
Emma saw Sam turn into the alley just outside the small diner and followed him as quietly as she could. Some of her hunter training had kicked in; a small voice told her to hang back a little bit and keep to the shadows as much as possible. An expert tracker like Sam would pick up on her presence easily if she wasn’t careful.  
  
Keeping close to the side of the diner, Emma crept along and watched as Sam strode towards the end of the alley, melting into the darkness like he belonged there. She shuddered inwardly at the thought: this Sam was the picture of danger. _Remind me not to piss him off_ , she thought and ducked behind a dumpster the second she realized he was turning to look back in her direction. She forced herself to relax into a crouch and hoped he had not taken notice of the fact that she was going after him.  
  
Moments passed. When nothing happened, Emma slowly stood and peered over the side of the dumpster. Though Sam was several feet away, she could make out his shape in the shadows, and from the looks of things, a second person was standing near him. Unfortunately she couldn’t see the face, so she crept around and tiptoed a few feet until she found a large stack of empty boxes. It was a miracle neither of them saw her, but when she heard Sam speaking, she figured he was too engrossed in his conversation to take much notice. Nevertheless, she crouched behind the cardboard boxes and waited . . . and listened.  
  
“You think I’m gonna tell you jack squat about anything?” a nasal voice sneered from the darkness. “You’re the epitome of pathetic.”  
  
“You _really_ don’t want to piss me off,” Sam growled in such a way that raised the hair on Emma’s neck. “Now tell me where Lillith is.”  
  
“No. It’s way too much fun watching you squirm around like a worm on a hook.”  
  
“Then tell your demon buddies ‘howdy’ when you see ‘em,” Sam hissed.  
  
There was no response from the other speaker, which made Emma frown. _What was going on?_ She had begun to debate the wisdom of following Sam here when intense gagging noises permeated the air. It was horrible, the strange twisted noise that was not natural. Anxiety twisted around in her stomach as the seconds ticked by and the sound continued.  
  
Finally, she stood up and crept from her hiding place. “Sam, are you – ?” she began, but her question was interrupted by the sight in front of her. Namely that Sam wasn’t the one making those horrible sounds: the skinny cashier from the diner was.  
  
Billows of thick, black smoke poured out of the cashier’s nose and mouth; she knew that to be demon smoke, which only meant one thing. Sam was exorcising a demon, but in the strangest way possible. It looked like the human body was literally vomiting the demon out and into the air. She cut her eyes to Sam to ask how he was doing that without speech, and was shocked at what she saw.  
  
Sam had one arm outstretched towards the possessed person, and his other hand was pressed against his head. The contorted look on his face suggested he was in serious pain, and his nose was bleeding profusely. What the night tried unsuccessfully to hide, however, was the look in his eyes. Emma saw the light bounce in his eyes – an unnatural sheen that she had never seen before in him. She shuddered when she thought how much _he_ looked like one possessed.  
  
With a slow, deliberate movement, Sam lowered his outstretched arm towards the ground, and Emma watched the black smoke follow. It hit the ground and sunk beneath the ground, embers burning it as it dissolved. Seconds later, it was gone and the night was quiet.  
  
Sam turned and looked at Emma, and for a full minute neither of them spoke. Shock had rendered her unable to speak, much less move. Of all the sights she had expected to see, nothing could’ve prevented her from what she’d just witnessed. Questions eventually began to formulate in her mind, but all she could ask was, “What the hell just happened?” Her voice sounded tight and quiet.  
  
“Exorcising a demon,” he whispered and then put both hands on his head and held them there. A loud groan spilled from his mouth, and he looked on the verge of collapse.  
  
Emma didn’t think twice: somehow her body moved to catch him before he fell to the ground. Fortunately his legs were steady, because his huge frame dwarfed her. She put herself under his armpit and wrapped one arm around him. His weight was heavy but she managed it somehow. She started to try and maneuver him around when he stopped.  
  
Sam moved away from her and staggered towards the inert body lying on the ground in a heap. “I have to see if he’s still alive,” he whispered.  
  
Emma followed him, not really sure her brain could take in the impact of what she had witnessed.  
  
“Is he gonna be okay?” she whispered as she watched Sam feel for a pulse.  
  
“Dammit,” Sam whispered and then struggled to his feet once more. “He’s dead. Let’s get outta here.” Emma watched as he shut his eyes and put a hand to his head once more.  
  
“What, you intend to fly us to my hotel or something?” she joked wryly but moved back by his side once more.  
  
“So not funny,” he complained and rested his arm across her shoulder. “Got a place I can crash for the night?”  
  
“There’s an extra bed in my room,” she said and began walking with him towards the diner’s parking lot. “We can take my car.”  
  
“No way, we’re taking the Impala,” he replied harshly. “No way some demon bastard’s going to get their meathooks into my car.”  
  
_Is he channeling Dean now?_ she wondered and quirked an eyebrow, but since the car had once belonged to Dean, she figured Sam was going to protect it with his life, if necessary. She helped him to the car – which was parked right next to hers – and helped Sam into the driver’s seat.  
  
Without a word to her, he pointed to the passenger side and reached over to unlock the door. Emma sighed. Maybe it was a good thing she would be driving in the same car with him: Sam might be less willing to go after another demon. Possibly he might be a bit more willing to spill his dirty secrets, too.  
  


  
  
The ride back to her hotel room was as quiet as the grave. Her lips quirked in a wry smile at the silly comparison, but that was the only way she could explain it. She might have been sitting mere feet from Sam in the Impala, but with the thick, toxic silence that lingered between them, she might as well have been invisible. Sam said nothing to her, and the dark look on his face told her not to say anything. Better to play her favorite game of Twenty Questions some other time – maybe when he didn’t look like he could pass out from sheer exhaustion.  
  
Her eyes shifted towards the driver’s seat and took in the way he was stuffed into the driver’s side, his shoulders hunched over, his knees brushing against the bottom of the steering wheel. Besides tired, Emma felt the sharp prick of desperation hovering around him, like the world had become such too much for him to bear. Little wonder, considering the agony he was no doubt still struggling with. Even the Impala seemed to echo Sam’s despair, for its growl seemed muted, like a part of it had died with its former owner and was now mourning with its current master. Her heart grew heavy with worry and fear over all she had seen the last hour, and part of her wondered if there was hope.  
  
With a little sigh, Emma turned back to watching the nighttime as Sam slowed and pulled into the parking lot of her hotel. He turned off the Impala and opened the door without looking at her. She sat there for a second and frowned when she saw Sam put his hand to his head and keep it there for a moment. Clearly whatever he had done that demon was still affecting him.  
  
Emma got out of the car and walked to Sam. “You need some aspirin?” she whispered softly.  
  
Pain-filled and fearful eyes looked down at her. Sam tried to smile, but what she saw was more like a smirk. “Yeah,” he said. “If you’ve got any.”  
  
Her hand reached out for him, but he backed just out of her reach. She sighed. “I always carry pain meds with me,” she said. “Never know when you’re gonna need it.” She walked towards her hotel room and unlocked the door for him to enter. Sam’s large frame dwarfed the doorway as he passed her.  
  
With the room shrouded in darkness, Emma flicked the wall switch and turned on a lamp in the corner. She shut the door but couldn’t miss Sam’s sharp intake of breath.  
  
“Please, turn that off,” he groaned. Emma saw him hide his face in his hands and figured the headache was much worse than he let on.  
  
“Sorry,” she said and turned the light off, then took his hand and led him to one of the beds. “Have a seat. I’ll get you some the aspirin.”  
  
Not waiting to see if Sam would comply, Emma turned and walked into the bathroom. She turned on the light and dug into her makeup bag. Once she had found her bottle of aspirin and opened it, she grabbed a paper cup from the counter and filled it with water, and then walked back into the main room and towards Sam, who had managed to get his shoes off and was struggling to remain in a seated position.  
  
“Here,” she said and handed him the bottle and water. She sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders to support him. Sam handed her the water, and Emma watched as he poured several pills into his palm, kicked them into his mouth, and washed them down with the water. _Weren’t you supposed to limit the number you take at once?_ she asked herself.  
  
When he was finished, Sam sagged back onto the bed and nearly took her with him. She slipped her arm from his body and watched him fall back onto the mattress. “Mind if I sleep here tonight?” he asked, his voice slurred with fatigue.  
  
“Sure,” she replied and felt the bed shift under her as he moved to the head of the bed. “It’s why I usually get hotel rooms with two queens. For just in case you need a place to crash.”  
  
Sam snickered softly. “Why? Easier if we shared. More fun that way,” he said, his sentenced punctuated by a wide yawn. Within moments, Emma heard his easy, even breathing and knew he had already fallen asleep.  
  
As she sat there, she fought the tears that welled in her eyes and sniffed them back. Nothing with this man was easy, but if tonight was any indication of the future, Emma realized that Sam was going to need a lot more than a romp in the sack to help him move on. He’d need the complete and total love of another human being. Unfortunately, she didn’t know if he would ever accept that.  
  


  
  
The bright morning sun streamed through the thinly covered curtains and shone in his eyes. Cursing under his breath, Sam shielded them with his hand and tried to focus on where the hell he had wound up last night. His brain was fuzzy from lack of sleep, and he ached all over from his demon exorcism. Ruby said the after-effects, like the headaches, were going to be horrible, but he hadn’t counted on how his body reacted, too. Every muscle in his body was stiff and sore, like he had been pulling a Mac truck behind him all night. Rubbing his eyes, he opened them and looked around.  
  
Sam saw someone sleeping in the bed next to his, and realized with a sobering jolt that it was Emma. He sat up, wide awake, and recalled that she had seen him pull a demon from the diner guy and send it to hell. Then she had quietly taken him back to her hotel room and given him drugs for the skull-splitting headache. He’d crashed without so much as another word to her.  
  
He felt like an ass for that, especially since she had no idea what he’d been doing for the last several weeks. His life had become a nightmare, and it was unfair to bring Emma into it. The fact that she’d been so quiet last night, though, worried him. Normally she liked to play a game of Twenty Questions whenever she suspected she was being kept in the dark and wouldn’t stop until he had told her everything. For the most part, Sam enjoyed that bantering, especially since he figured that was her way of telling him she still gave a damn about him. However, last night, all she’d done was quietly assisted him because he was too messed up to do it himself. Had she changed her mind? Was watching him do the mind-whammy on a demon the final straw?  
  
Suddenly, Emma shifted in her sleep and rolled over. Sam sighed and swung his legs over to the floor, his eyes locked on her face. She looked so peaceful, without any cares that put the burden of the world on her. Sam frowned and glanced down at his stocking feet with a sinking feeling inside. He shouldn’t be here with her. Making her meet him in out-of-the-way places, knowing she usually had to drive at least a day to get to their chosen destination – it felt unfair. He eased out of bed and walked to the window.  
  
The last thing he ever wanted was to show her what he was capable of. Knowing you had demon blood in your veins wasn’t something he was proud of; that he could do freaky things like exorcise demons merely by harnessing the power of said blood had begun to eat away at him. Sam felt like the biggest freak in the world. Why would Emma accept that side of him? How could he have allowed her to see that much to begin with? He knew how curious she was.  
  
Sam’s head was blissfully painless, though as he looked down at his shirt, he realized that his nose had bled at some point last night. A peek out of the window told him that somehow, he had driven the Impala back to her room, so he walked out to it, grabbed his duffel bag of clothes from the trunk, and snuck back inside. Fortunately, the noise hadn’t startled her awake. With a small grin, he walked into the bathroom. The best thing would be to shower and leave. It was the coward’s way out, but how could he linger when he knew other demons were watching his every move? That _Lillith_ was somewhere nearby?  
  
Ten minutes later, Sam emerged from the bathroom – with damp hair and a fresh change of clothes on – and found Emma awake and seated on the edge of her bed, her dark hazel eyes fathomless and unreadable. Frowning, he let the bag in his hand fall to the floor. _So much for sneaking out_ , he thought and sighed inwardly.  
  
“Planning on leaving without saying goodbye?” she asked softly.  
  
Sam heard the flatness of her voice and could have kicked himself. “Maybe I was,” he admitted. “I appreciate you helping me out last night, but…” He swallowed and looked down at the floor for a second. “You shouldn’t have followed me.”  
  
“Not followed you? Why not? You literally got up and left without a word, Sam. I was worried, and then I saw.” She paused. “What exactly _did_ I see, anyway?”

Sam looked at her. Might as well tell her, he thought. She’d figure it out sooner or later. “I found out that I can exorcise demons by other means than Latin incantations,” he said slowly.  
  
“As in, you do the Hokey Pokey and demon smoke comes out?” she asked, confusion etched onto her features.  
  
Sam smirked. “It’s a little bit more complicated than that.”  
  
“So explain it to me, _cher_ ,” Emma replied and crossed her arms across her chest. “I take it this goes along with those premonitions you told me about last year?”  
  
Sam walked to the other side of the bed and sat down next to her. “Kind of, yes,” he admitted.  
  
“What does that mean?”  
  
“It means I don’t get the premonitions anymore, but I’ve learned to harness other power to literally pull demons from bodies.”  
  
“How?” she asked and gave him a pointed look.  
  
“By concentrating.” Sam shrugged.  
  
“On the demon inside?”  
  
He nodded slowly and looked at her. The less she knew, the better. Especially the demon blood angle.  
  
“And what happens when the person spits up demon?” she asked. All that black smoke disappeared last night.”  
  
“I can send them back to Hell.” Sam glanced down at his fingernails and took a long moment before he turned to her. Her ghostly white face told him everything he needed to know: she was freaked out. Just like he knew she’d be if she ever found out.  
  
“What?” Emma whispered after a long moment.  
  
Sam winced at the evident fear in her voice. _Is she scared of me?_ he wondered. _Doesn’t matter, because this is it, the thing that’ll drive her away. I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to meet her here._ “Ruby’s been teaching me,” he replied quietly.  
  
Emma rubbed a hand over her face and stared ahead at the door. “The demon who said she was gonna help you save Dean,” she said, her voice devoid of emotion. “The one who _lied_ to you.” She turned back to look at him fully. “I know it’s hard, losing Dean the way you did, but –“  
  
“Stop,” Sam interrupted her harshly and stood up. “You don’t know the first thing about it.” He walked to the window and looked outside at the Impala – the only reminder of the family he’d lost.  
  
“I don’t know what it’s like to lose someone I love?” Emma shot back. “I don’t know what it’s like to carry around the burden of being left behind? What don’t I know exactly?”  
  
“You don’t know what it’s like to be different.” He began pacing around the room. “You’re beautiful and intelligent, Emma. You had parents who loved you, a normal childhood. You got to go to college and do what you wanted to do with your life.”  
  
“And you think you can’t have some of that?”  
  
“No, never.”  
  
“Why? Because it’s your fault that Dean’s dead? That somehow by harnessing this ability you can make up for his loss?” Emma demanded and grabbed him on the arm to arrest his movement.  
  
Sam pulled away from her, feeling like he’d been doused with a bucket of cold water. As usual, Emma had hit the nail on the head with her frankness and perception. More than anything, Sam wished he had started listening to Ruby sooner, because otherwise Dean might be standing here with him. It was all he could think about: _if I’d only listened to Ruby_ , the voice in his head whispered. _If only._  
  
“Dean doesn’t deserve Hell,” he replied. “I’ve gotta get him back. If it means using this psychic thing, then it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Nothing else matters anymore.” Certainly not the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him everything he had done in the last two months was dangerous.  
  
Emma looked like she was waging a war inside, for her eyes were stormy with emotion. She took a step towards him but stopped. He watched her hands fidget and settle into her pockets. “I wanna help you, _cher_. I care about you, and you have no idea how much it hurts to see you like this. But Dean’s gone, and you have to move on.”  
  
“Move on?” he barked cynically. “To what? The next case? Another town? Settle down, find a job and a girl, maybe spit out a couple of kids? You think it’s as easy as all that?”  
  
Emma flinched. “I know several hunters who have done just that,” she replied. “I’m not saying it’s an easy solution, but wouldn’t that be what Dean wants you to do?” She took a step towards him.  
  
“That kind of future’s gone for me,” he replied. “It died the day I watched my girlfriend die in a blaze of fire because of a _demon_. The same damn one that had killed my mother. You think there’s any end for me, other than death?”  
  
“I’d like to think there is,” she whispered and grasped his arms with her hands.  
  
Sam noticed her eyes glassy with tears and wanted to kick himself for taking his anger out on her. True, she had touched a nerve, but the idea that he could get over this debilitating grief and move on seemed overwhelming. There should only be one end – Lillith’s head on a plate. If that happened to be his demise as well . . .  
  
He shook his head and moved away from her touch. “Trust me,” he said, “there’s only one end to this, and it’s not a happily ever after scenario.”  
  
Emma became serious, her eyes growing dark with another sort of fear. “What do you mean, _cher_?” she asked. “What are you going to do?”  
  
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “It’s something I have to do . . . and you can’t be a part of it.” He hesitated over his words, because he knew this would hurt her. But as he spoke, a part of him knew it was true. Emma couldn’t be a part of his dark and lonely world. It would change her into something she would no longer recognize, and he had enough guilt over failing to save Dean. He couldn’t live with himself if something happened to her.  
  
“Now hang on a second,” she protested. “Why not? I know I’m not the greatest with exorcisms, but you can’t do this along.”  
  
“I’m not doing this alone,” he said and gave her a look. “Beside, the only way I know for sure you’ll be safe is to let you go.” At the intense pain on her face at his words, he smiled a little and leaned towards her. “It’s the only way, and you know it.”  
  
A couple tears slipped down her cheeks, but she swiped them away viciously. “What the hell have you gotten yourself into? Do I mean so little to you that you’re just going to cast me aside because you think I can’t ‘help’ you the way you think you need it?” She used air quotes to emphasize her sarcasm. “I’m trying to offer you some support, Sam. Because you need to know someone still gives a damn about you.”  
  
“This is way beyond your pay-grade, Emma. And that’s the way it has to stay.”  
  
“So you and Ruby can go on a stupid kamikaze hunt for some demon and get yourself killed in the process?” she shouted, tears streaming freely down her face.  
  
Before he could open his mouth to protest, Emma held up a hand to silence him. “I know it’s a demon, _cher_. It has to be, what with Lillith the white-eyed demon still skulking around. You told me she was the one who took Dean, remember?”  
  
Trust Emma to be smart enough to put two and two together, he thought and smiled despite the pang of guilt he felt for making her cry. “Then you get why you can’t be a part of this,” he said and approached her. With his shirttail, he gently dried her eyes. She resisted at first, but eventually stood close to him. Sam felt her relax a fraction.  
  
“No I don’t understand,” she whispered once he was done. “I’m trying to tell you that . . . I think I can still help you, and you’re turning it away.” Her mournful eyes turned up towards his, and Sam felt a nameless, yet powerful emotion emanate from the look she gave him. “Haven’t you figured it out yet?”  
  
Sam tilted his head to the side and studied her carefully. Beneath all the fear and hurt, he saw something deeper in her eyes, an emotion he had only experienced with one woman. Since Jess’ death, he had taken great pains to keep his heart locked away, so that no one or nothing could touch it.  
  
That Emma had seen him at his worst – that she knew he possessed some freaky mental power – and still cared about him nearly brought Sam to his knees. The open, unguarded emotion scared him: Lillith could use Emma to get to him, and he refused to let that happen. They had to part ways, if for her benefit. He had to help her move on with her life.  
  
Still, Sam couldn’t help but take her face between his hands and stroke her smooth skin with his thumbs. Her arms wound around his waist as he felt her move onto her tiptoes to meet his descending lips. They touched, and the yearning in her kiss shook him clear down to his toes. He groaned and grabbed her waist, pulling her closer as their kisses grew more passionate and desperate. Something blossomed momentarily in his heart, and in that moment, Sam wished he could have a normal life. He’d definitely want to share it with her.  
  
However, after a moment Sam broke the kiss and looked down. The remnants of her tears clung to Emma’s cheeks, and despite the loving look in her eyes, she looked sad. He sighed heavily and stepped out of her embrace, mourning the loss of her touch and pained at the thought of never seeing her again. “Well,” he started lamely, unsure what to say.  
  
With a smirk, Emma turned her back to him and grabbed a book from off the nightstand by her bed. “Here,” she said and held it out. “Thought you could use some light reading between kicking demon ass.”  
  
Taking it from her, Sam read the careful and felt a big smile touch his lips. “Your book,” he said and looked up at her. “You finally got it published.”  
  
“It’s an advanced copy,” she replied. “Goes on sale at the end of August. I knew we’d be meeting up, so I wanted you to have one. As a way of saying thanks.”  
  
He started thumbing through it, but Emma put her hand on the top of the cover and stopped him. “Do me a favor,” she continued. “Don’t look at that until we’ve said goodbye.”  
  
“Why not?” he asked, shooting her a look.  
  
“Just . . . “ she began but hesitated. Something in her tone conveyed some doubt, and despite his growing curiosity, Sam kept the book closed. He slid around her long enough to put the book into his bag and pick it up.  
  
Turning around, Sam met Emma’s eyes and held them. For a long moment, neither of them said a word – it would be too hard to try and speak, especially since Sam wasn’t sure she wanted to hear that they might never see each other again. On that thought, the moment ended and Sam looked down at his duffel. “Emma,” he started to speak.  
  
“Don’t even try it, Winchester,” she interrupted him. “We’re going to keep in touch, whether you like it or not. Just because you might disappear off the face of the earth doesn’t mean I won’t try my damnest to track you down.” With that, she wrapped her arms around Sam and hugged him tightly. He responded in kind and held her closely, kissing the top of her head gently and memorizing the feel of her body pressed against his.  
  
“Didn’t realize you’d become such a great tracker,” he joked against her hair. She smelled like sunshine, and he willed every pore in his body to remember.  
  
He felt her swat his side. “Just ask Bobby,” she replied and pulled out of his embrace, a smile on her face. “Helped him out a time or two in locating you.” The smile faltered. “Take care, Sam,” she whispered. “Keep in touch, or else.”  
  
With a touch to her cheek, Sam turned and walked out the door without looking behind him. It was hard enough leaving now, knowing that she loved him despite his inability to reciprocate. And if he was really honest with himself, Sam knew that deep down, he _did_ love her too. But as he got into the Impala and started her engine, he understood that they didn’t always get what they wanted. _This_ was his life, for better or worse. Killing Lillith and trying to raise his brother from Hell was more important than anything else.  
  
Before pulling out of the parking lot, Sam pulled Emma’s book from his duffel and opened it to the front page. There, on the author’s dedication page, was the following passage: _To S. and D., who opened my eyes to a brand new world I have never regretted knowing. I love you, S. I miss you, D._  
  
“I could love you, too,” he whispered back and shut the book. With a final lingering look towards her hotel room door, Sam pulled out of the parking lot and onto the highway. He had a lot of work to do.


End file.
